They make me feel so lonely. I don’t know once again if I’m just imagining it or what. Once again I’ll explain it and maybe you will give me something to help me understand what to think.
So last Friday, I spent all of it by myself. “Kayla” and “Hanna” spent the night in Kayla’s room because her roommate was gone. On Saturday we volunteered together and then hung out some. We rented “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” and they didn’t like it. The whole Brad/ Patrick thing apparently turned them off. I thought that it couldn’t have been edited out. It was perfect and they really didn’t like it. I went to church with them on Sunday, but we went to another church and I didn’t like it.
They spent most of Saturday and Sunday making inside jokes and ignoring me. We met Kayla’s mother and she literally said “Hey mom, this is Hanna.” And then silence. I was like “Hi, I’m Adri.” Her mother was trying to figure out what was happening. I was so confused.
So I just let it go, and then I had a 9pm to 3am discussion with Katie and a few of the other girls downstairs and I realized that I put up with a lot of crap from these people. I let them walk over me and I’m done with it.
Today, one of the RA’s invited me to dinner with him and his fiancee and Katie and Tom (her ridiculous crush). I went and then Hanna came back and obviously I’m not privy to anything they do. They just walked out of the room, not a goodbye or anything. I understand that they’re like best friends and all but being all non-inclusive is such a turn off.
This is going to sound absolutely crazy, but I think that I have a touch of Dependent Personality Disorder. I’m dependent on people occasionally. It sucks because people let me down. A lot.